The Guru Who Ignored Me

The Guru Who Ignored Me

I’ve been following this particular affiliate marketer for about 10 or 12 years online (one of my first mentors). From time to time I have emailed her with a question and she always replied within a few days. I always reminded myself, “I want to be like her and make sure I keep in contact with my followers.” Well today I felt like this person became “The Guru Who Ignored Me.”


I’m still giving her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she is very busy and will answer me as a friend as she always had in the past. The response I received from her was an obvious automated response that said:


“Due to the very large volume of emails I receive, please go to my help desk at for help and product support.
Thank you so much for your understanding!
~xxxxxxxxxx ”


I didn’t need help for a product or support with one of her products, I just had a simple question about a new product she was recommending.


Maybe I am making too much of a big deal about it but my feelings were hurt by this person who always seemed to make a conscious effort to respond to my questions in the past (which have not been excessive; maybe 2 to 3 in the last 10 to 12 years). I believe I would rather have not received any response at all than to receive the “canned response” I got.  


So today I am now saying, “I DO NOT want to be like her and ignore my followers.”


This turned out to be a little ranting and venting on my part, but I would truly like to know what would be your answers to the following questions:


1. Am I being too judgmental?
2. Should I have just let it go without feeling hurt?
3. Would you have rather received nothing as opposed to a canned response?
4. Am I just being a “Brat?”


Answer completely and honestly. I’m a big girl, I can take it. LOL


I really hate to stop following her but I wonder if she is now one of those that I consider who has “crossed over that line.”


Just as Doctors, I believe they start out with the right intentions and wanting to help people but somewhere along the line they become jaded and money turns their heads and they no longer care to tend to or associate with the people who helped them get where they are today.

arrow5-aI would really, really like to see a meaningful discussion in the comments section about this. Tell me what you think and share with your associates and social sites.


About Monna Ellithorpe

Writer, Published Author, Teacher, Blogger, Marketer. I have written most all of my life: journals, diaries and short stories. When faced with a life decision, writing kept presenting itself to me at every turn. I then started to seriously pursue a career in writing.
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38 Responses to The Guru Who Ignored Me

  1. Adeel Sami says:

    Hello Monna,

    I have been through this..

    Oh but I am not on the point where I call I am being ignored but I was ignored in the past. Now, it is working pretty much fine whenever I make a reply, I get the response in return but it was not the case in near-past and hopeful it does not turn into the opposite case.

    I’d say and go with: 3. Would you have rather received nothing as opposed to a canned response?


    When you have a big followership or your core intention is to SELL to anyone from your subscription list, not anytime this intention be made into every single email you receive or send.

    When you’re famous, you must have to have spare the time to respond back to every queries regardless of the type and topic of the emails – This action makes you more stronger, promising and credible in the eyes of person emailing you.

    You must have to REPLY other than canned responses. Once canned response is pushed out, that email won’t ever checked by that *famous” person.

    My call to the famous people: Please, please and please! Reply.. always.
    Adeel Sami recently posted…When Social Media Dominates SEO for YouMy Profile

    • Hi Adeel, Thank you for your visit and comment. I agree #3 was better than nothing. I guess I was just a little hurt and I shouldn’t have been and I also note, that I should not have written the post that I did. I received a lot of responses but it was mainly just me venting. Have a great New Year.

  2. Arsh says:

    You are too judgmental Monna, people do get busy at times, you are having really high expectations, that is now hurting you, I think you should let it go, take it easy on yourself, life is short, knock it off!

    I don’t like people complaining for no reason, you shouldn’t, I thought you were very grown up, sensible individual, never imagined you would think about such pity things in such a way… but I guess its a way too weird world, hope I don’t end up in your bad books now!

    • You know, Arsh, my first thought was to delete your comment but then I decided not to. You have your opinion just like everyone else. I am over it and I have moved on. You can’t make everyone happy and I don’t try. You don’t know me and obviously I have hit a nerve where you are concerned. Attack my work and my books is also your right. Many happen to not agree with you. Have a good weekend. 🙂

  3. Mark says:

    I’m definitely with you Monna!

    They definitely found time while you were helping them get up the mountain!

    And while I can certainly appreciate the fact that they or you can get extremely busy!

    But that being the case, they could at least send a few courtesy emails to
    both their email list(s) and post in all of their FB groups, that going forward and
    due to the recent increase in help email questions, they’ve had to outsource
    certain portions of their email/customer service duties!

    So they may not be as readily available as they typically were in the past!

    This way, at least their audience and so of their dearest and oldest, most
    valuable customers, such as yourself, wouldn’t be as put off!

    You’ll never go down that road to that extend Monna! At least
    I hope not!Sorry to hear such a story!

    But honestly, it doesn’t surprise me!
    Mark recently posted…Why Extremely Savvy Entrepreneurs Don’t Just Market Their Businesses They Leverage Their Efforts!My Profile

    • Hi Mark, Thanks for visiting. Maybe I made too big of a deal about it but I did think that we had sort of a friendship going on all of these years but maybe not. I do plan to make it a priority that I keep in touch with my visitors.

  4. Matt Banner says:

    Hi Monna,

    I don’t think you’re being judgmental, no. If you’ve been a loyal follower for a decade it more, it makes total sense that you expect some type of personalized response. Particularly if you have been a paying customer over that time frame.

    I think it’s important to remember that “gurus” are the same as you and I. They are people, and like us, they are imperfect. So I wouldn’t let it hurt your feelings.

    That’s a big part of blogging for business. Trying to remain objective and make good business decisions. This particular guru felt it was a good decision to ignore her followers, and you were able to take some wisdom away from that in saying, “I NEVER want to treat my followers like that.”

    So perhaps this is a positive story. 🙂

    Good luck,

    Matt Banner recently posted…FAQs on Starting & Growing a Self-Hosted BlogMy Profile

  5. Hello Monna, Hum, all I can say is been there done that> My personal opinion, don;t dwell on this and Yes Move On! Sometimes it is hard, but unfortunately it does happen.

    Sorry girlfriend, is there anything I can help you with? Well talk soon, you know where to find Me..
    Have a Awesome new week ahead
    Chery :))
    Chery Schmidt recently posted…Road Trip- My Adventure To SuccessMy Profile

  6. Jan Shaw says:

    Hi Monna,

    I have mixed emotions on this one. Yes, you should probably give her the benefit of the doubt, but I totally get where you’re coming from. I, too, have a mentor who is very responsive on some things, but I’ve noticed that when my questions are coming from a place that she just can’t relate to she says that she’ll get back to me, but never does. It’s a little frustrating, but I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt too and it’s causing me to be more positive in my reaction to things. Maybe it was the way I asked for her advice.

    Anyway, I hope you get your answer soon!

    Have a great week!

    Jan Shaw recently posted…What Does “Taking Massive Action” Mean and How It Applies to Your Online Business?My Profile

    • Hi Jan, I’m wondering now if my wording was off in some way too. I have seen a change in her marketing and I was asking about that, so I may have stepped into something she didn’t want to talk about. Wishing you a great week too.

  7. Mary Sloane says:

    Hi Monna
    I would definitely give her the benefit of the doubt

    I would also contact here help desk.

    We all dream of having such a big business that we can outsource a lot of it and when it happens we suddenly lose that personal touch.

    To get where she got she undoubtedly treated others as she treated you and responded ASAP and now that too has gotten overwhelming..So rather than have messages sit unanswered for weeks at a time she has added a solution. Pretty reasonable I’d say.

    Plus you may not have lost contact at all. I have a guru who really is a busy busy guy and I used his help desk and suddenly there he was in my FB messenger personally dealing with my problem.

    They may not be any less connected just trying to be more efficient

    The struggle for all of us as our success grows.

    To the Top

    Mary Sloane recently posted…Become a High Paid Strategist not a Lowly Paid TacticianMy Profile

  8. In the beginning, she would be willing to help you because probably she’s receiving a number of emails she can handle but in a case where she started receiving up to 500 emails!
    Am sure it will be a little hard for her to notice and since she does not want her readers to feel like being ignored, thats why the automatic response.
    #MyThought though

    • Hi Tunde, I know that people do get very busy online and tend to overlook things. I’ve done it myself but I hope to keep grounded enough that I will not forget those who have followed me for years.

  9. Hi Monna,
    I can imagine how you feel, this is not nice.
    I have to say I have different experience, maybe
    it has to do with knowing and following the
    spiritual laws of success. I just got and very
    helpful and heartwarming answer from Bob Proctors
    Client Enrichment Representative and when I have a
    question for Mary Morrissey’s staff or Mindvalley, I
    always get a really sometimes unexpected pleasant
    respond. These People did it right because they really
    are of service and put special friendly personal to answer
    people’s questions.
    I think this is the right way to do it, if it gets too busy ,
    still value the customers and not sent automated messages.
    Thank you, this is something to think about .
    Erika Mohssen-Beyk recently posted…What Is Hatha Yoga?My Profile

  10. Sue Bride says:

    In general, my reaction would depend on how soon I received a reply and how complete it was. I struggle to keep up with all my email so for me this might be a way to keep on top of what’s important. A way of not missing emails I need to reply to. I understand how you feel when it comes to close contacts.

    The automated message was impersonal and could have been worded differently. A good lesson for us all.

    A better way might be to use a separate email address for close contacts – one that you check every day.
    Sue Bride recently posted…16 Reasons Why Writing Quality Content Isn’t EnoughMy Profile

    • Hi Sue, Thanks for visiting and commenting. Another thought that came to mind this past week is that maybe she didn’t feel we had the friend connection to each other like I did. I still haven’t heard from her but of course, I didn’t resend my message to the other email. I’m just going to forget about it and like most have said, try not to do that to anyone who tries to contact me.

  11. Adrienne says:

    Hey Monna,

    I fear this day too to be honest with you. Although I want to get to the place eventually where I will have “people” working for me and helping me with the many emails and questions that I get. Let’s face it, when someone gets really big then they have to choose how to spend that time. We NEVER want to ignore our customers but in her defense she is sending you to the help desk so that your question can be answered. That’s definitely not ignoring you but it’s not the personal touch that you once received.

    On the other hand it’s just like the darn automated voice mails when you call a company and there’s never an option for the issue that you have. It takes forever to even get to a real human being and by then I’m more upset then when I started. It makes you feel like a number instead of a person.

    If you have a one on one relationship with that person though they should have given you a private email so that you could ask them questions there instead of the automated one that’s from the list.

    It’s a hard one to answer though and I guess the first time this happens to me I would probably be upset too, especially if they don’t respond back to me within a designated amount of time. I’m wondering if you’ve heard from her yet.

    Adrienne recently posted…How To Overcome Your Fear of BloggingMy Profile

    • Hi Adrienne, After reading the many responses to my post, I see that I probably did over react. It is hard to define our friendship. I always looked out for her, if and when I came across anyone that was giving away her product for free, I would let her know and I did do some testing for a couple of her products. I haven’t heard from her yet and it’s okay. I get over things easily. Have a great week.

  12. Joy Healey says:

    Hi Monna

    I hate canned responses too – especially the ones where I’ve taken the trouble to write a detailed question and the automated response just picks up one keyword in it and tells you to do something you’d have been a moron not to try before raising the support ticket.

    Hopefully after the weekend you may get a reply… or perhaps too long has drifted past already.

    Hope you get your reply 🙂

    Joy Healey recently posted…Premier Cashback – Promoting With A Web AppMy Profile

  13. Hi Monna,

    I can totally relate! When your mentor gets too busy to respond to your emails it is time to move on and just forget about it. I have had a few like that and yes like you , I just wanted some questions answered, but not much I can do, if they choose to ignore you because either they are too busy to respond or they just do not want to build that relationship anymore, well, there is really nothing you can about it, right?

    I am with you, no matter what I am committed to reply back to each person that emails me . People reach out to you for a reason, they see you as an expert and just would like some honest answers. I vow never to ever do that no matter what.

    Great post and some food for thought 🙂

    Big hugs,
    Joan Harrington recently posted…Would You Like To Know How To Use Facebook To Attract Your Ideal Customer?My Profile

    • Hi Joan, You are right; there is nothing we can do about it. I don’t wish her any ill-will, I think it was just more of a shock since she has always responded to me anytime I’ve emailed her. I guess there may come a time when we will have to hire someone to help us but I, like you hope to be able to answer each person myself.

  14. Oh Monna…

    it just takes one time to break a relationship… you are understanding that she may have a lot going on, but that is a lesson to us all.

    Whenever we are unable to speak or reply personally to our customers, there will always be someone who needs to be in touch.

    Is this a fact of growth or something we can always expect to happen?

    This experience really highlights the bonds we develop with our online ‘mentors’ and how fragile they can be.

    I am always delighted to get good responses from people I buy from, especially if they are products I want to use and recommend, and would feel the same as you if I had received that email.

    Let’s see if you do receive a further response 🙂

    warm wishes,
    Jacs Henderson recently posted…Create One Click Fan Page Tabs From Your Capture & Sales Pages Using Social SuiteMy Profile

  15. Monna,
    I have experienced that with one of the video sales people. When they started, they responded personally and quickly to my emails. But once they get really busy and really popular, they have a staff and no longer respond to individual emails.

    I have always hated those automated responses. If I take the time to write a comment on someone’s blog post, I HATE getting an automated response saying the person is so happy I visited their blog. I prefer to get NO response rather than an automated response. If I take the time to write a comment I expect a live, real, personal comment back – or nothing. To me that is worse than a busy mentor not responding.


    Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted…Are You Commitment Phobic?My Profile

    • Hi Erica, I guess there are two sides to this coin. Either they stay small enough to keep in personal touch or they grow in popularity that they hire people to work for them. I’m over it now. I really would have received nothing instead of the automated response. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

  16. I hear ya Monna. When marketers are starting out they attend very much to followers or potential clients for a few reasons that I can think of – one giving value so they can be seen as the expert.
    Two – a real passion to help or educate
    Three – to convert into sales
    When a marketer forgets two and One and only is interested in getting sales as a big marketer
    then yes I think you are right to be offended. Marketing is as easy as one, two, and three. TOGETHER
    will all steps is a truly great marketer!
    Kathryn Maclean recently posted…How to Improve Your Facebook Engagement – Quickly!My Profile

    • Hi Kathryn, I would have bet money that this person would never have ignored any of her followers but you never can tell. Like I told Emi before, I’m still looking for an email and it was just bad timing or something like that. Thank you also for your support.

  17. Emi says:

    Hi Monna,
    I can relate… My first mentor started ignoring my questions when I was stuck because of the setup he made for me. But I kept going and after the third question I knew that this was the end with our relationship… I just forgave him, move on and make a note never to be like him.
    We all make mistakes, no one is perfect but you know it makes a huge difference when you admit your mistake and start working on fixing it. We learn something every day 🙂
    Emi recently posted…Master This 3 Things & Your Business Will Skyrocket!My Profile

    • Hi Emi, I guess this has happened to more people than I realized and it’s a shame too. I’ve kind of had a feeling for a while about the change in her marketing but I am still hoping that I will hear from her.

  18. Lolette Stephenson says:

    This is a gripe of mine too. You admire someone for whatever trait they have you like, but they have way too many other people to be able to do one on ones. No one at PAC has been like that. I do not think you are wrong at all.

    • Hi Lolette, Thanks for the support. Lesly and I do agree and absolutely don’t want to ever ignore one of our PAC members. I would love to come back in a few days and write another post and tell everyone, it was an oversight and that I received a personal response from her. We will see. Thank you again, Lolette.

  19. BG Jenkins says:

    Hi Monna, Honestly, I think I may have felt the same way. Sometimes we do get busy, but when you are building a following I think those who help you during the building process should be given the most respect. I’ve also had this happen with someone who I thought was a very close friend and I guess you end up really finding out who your friends are. Of course, people get busy and your email may have been overlooked accidentally. I don’t think you’re being a brat at all, it just gives you the opportunity to review how this person fits into the scheme of things… it may be completely innocent, so I would say be gracious. Although with my situation, I still consider this person a great benefit to me and show them respect, but I no longer personally contact them while still holding them in high regard. I guess I can use a Tony Robbins quote about my situation. “Act, don’t react.” For me this means I choose to act the same way I always have with regards to others, regardless of how they act towards me. Regardless of how you handle it, if they have choosen to ignore you, it’s truly their loss… and I mean that.
    BG Jenkins recently posted…Enjoy A Smile… They Are ContagiousMy Profile

    • Hi BG, I really would like to believe that it was an honest oversight. I won’t say anything to her but I’m just not sure I will follow her blindly as I have in the past. Thank you so much. You are so sweet with your compliments. I do miss talking with you. Get that house done, so we can all get back to our meetings, K? You know I’m kidding about hurrying up. Take your time and take care with the house. 🙂

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